I Run This

Taking a peek back at the last post it has been a few months since I have updated. Summer has come and gone and I am back into the full swing of school. Health wise I had a fabulous summer, only had a small set back two weeks ago when I picked up this summer cold that everyone has had and it took me almost as long to beat it. Anyone who knows anything about MS knows why that is! I am almost back to full speed ahead and it is a good thing because tomorrow I am running a 5K to raise money for the MS Society. As I was laying out my clothes for the race tomorrow I realized I am fast approaching the three year anniversary of my diagnosis, in fact I am just about 20 days out. As I think back to that day and all that went through my mind, and I recall physically how I felt, running let alone running a 5K wasn't anything I ever expected to be in my future. This will be my 17th 5K in 9 months, I would say I am beating the odds! Tomorrow will not be about me, tomorrow will be about all of my fellow MS'ers. Tomorrow will be about those who are unable to enjoy a quality of life they once knew, tomorrow will be about raising money to find a cure for this monster that has taken so much from those of us who have to live our lives everyday knowing that right now there is no cure. I am lucky, by the grace of God I am able to live a somewhat normal life but it it cannot be said enough that you should not judge my disability by my outward appearance. Just the other day a good friend mentioned how I seem to have beat my MS and in response to that I said that I suffer everyday. I have vision issues, I even have cognitive issues from time to time, but I know that life has to go on and I have to get up and go everyday that I can. Please continue to pray for a cure, some are not as blessed as I have been.

The View From Here

I found this quote while I was doing some research for another piece of writing and I felt that it was so fitting "I run because it's so symbolic of life. You have to drive yourself to overcome the obstacles. You might feel that you can't. But then you find your inner strength, and realize you're capable of so much more than you thought" --Arthur Blank This is my life! The last time I posted I was preparing for my first 5K. As I write this post I am trying to count in my head and I think I am up to 8 5K's and preparing for my first 1/2 Marathon next month. Last year at this same time I was using a cane on some days and sometimes at night if I had to get up. As I was packing tonight for another trip with the company that makes my MS medication (this time to Dallas), and thinking about my journey, I can't believe how much my life has changed since I first heard those words "you have MS". I remember my world feeling like yahtzee dice that had been shaken and spilled onto a table. I didn't know what was ahead, I didn't really even know how I was going to handle it. All I knew for sure was that I had a life that wasn't going to wait for me to figure it out. So many things have happened since that time that have put life into perspective. One of those being my mom's breast cancer diagnosis. I feel like she and I draw strength from each other. The farther we see the other step out onto the limb the more we draw strength within ourselves. My kids have gone from awkward pre-teens to drivers! As I slowly but surely release the stronghold I have had on them, I know that I have to have a life of my own as they move on with theirs. I have said before that I don't want to sugar coat what this disease really does to me, I still have days where my thought process is a little foggy and I have to consciously go through every step in my head while doing something as simple as washing my hair. Some days I don't really feel like going for that run after school, but then I remember there have been days when I couldn't get out of bed, and, sadly there could at anytime be more days like that. There are days that I get half way into my run and ask myself what I am trying to prove and who I am trying to prove it to... the answer is simple: I am trying to prove that I can still have a normal life. As I begin to wind down the school year I also remember how much strength I draw from my students. On the days that my body says stay in bed today, I remember that there is a student or two that is depending on me. The one thing I know for certain is that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest students. I hope I am living up to the task. My running partner Terri, she pushes me when I am weak, she PHYSICALLY pushes me! Dirty Girl Mud Run 2013